The Daily Diary of a Winning Loser

Today, I maintained the integrity of my maintenance calorie budget, I remained abstinent from refined sugar, I exceeded my daily minimum 64oz water goal,

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Wednesday, 18 March 2015

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March 18th, 2015 Sometimes It Is

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March 18th, 2015 Sometimes It Is

I once proclaimed "it's never too late." Sadly, sometimes it is.

I met Ramsey Moore on location for a film he and I did together in the summer of 2003. (The film was Reality: The Movie, a spoof on various reality TV shows. It never made it to distribution in any form.) Our scenes were together. We played a sportscasting team. We spent the entire day together in 100 degree Fresno heat. We kept in touch after that day via email and eventually social media, but we never worked together again. I had moved back home to Oklahoma and Ramsey was firmly planted in L.A. and doing very well.

He was incredibly nice to me. He made an unforgettable impression on me that day. I didn't tell him I had packed up and headed home already, and that I had flown back out to do this one last commitment. I remember him inviting me to a stand-up show. I deflected and changed the subject.

Had I stayed in California, I'm certain Ramsey and I would have become good friends. I was so happy for him when he started doing bits regularly for Jimmy Kimmel and when he worked with Ashton Kutcher on MTV's Punk'd.

When I found out about his passing via Facebook yesterday morning, I felt an incredible sadness. He was only a few years older than me. He died of a massive heart attack on Monday.

Reading through the endless stream of facebook friends leaving words on his timeline, it was clear. The unforgettably positive attitude and presence he shared with me that day, was something he shared with everyone he came in contact with over the years. He was a gifted actor, stand-up and someone who lived to make people laugh.

We were both stand-up comics and we were both in excess of 500 pounds. I wish I could have helped him in some way. I know that none of us are guaranteed a certain amount of time on this earth, right now is all we have, but in a way, I felt a touch of survivors guilt. I could have very well had the same trajectory as Ramsey. I feel blessed; very lucky, because I made it out--for now. And if I continue making the elements of my recovery important, I'll have a good chance at a longer life. I wish Ramsey could have that chance, too. It's just too late. It's a sad deal. He was one of the really good ones in this world.
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Rest in peace, Ramsey--and thank you for making that 100 degree day in Fresno one I'll never forget--and not because of the heat, it was unforgettable because of you.
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A guest on my radio show yesterday brought me a sugar free bar of chocolate sweetened with Stevia! I waited until today to give it a try. I consumed 1/3 of the bar for 120 calories. It was very good! Even though it's sugar free, I don't think I'll keep 'em around the apartment. I'm a little concerned about my ability to control myself with chocolate bars. I intentionally left the remaining chocolate in the studio kitchen instead of bringing it home. I'll stretch it out and see how long it'll last me. I could easily break it into 60 calorie portions.

I had both pizza and chocolate today. Of course, they were versions that fit my non-negotiable recovery based food plan. It still fun to say, "hey--I had pizza and chocolate--and no guilt!!"

My plan to get into Yoga class this afternoon didn't work. I was too busy at work to leave at 4 or in time to make the 5:30pm class. I'm not sure what I'm going to do about this. When I get busy, my schedule seems to win out over what I need and want to do. It's still something I can change. I can structure my work load better. All I can do is plan on next week, give it an increased priority level and see what happens.

I did get a wonderful workout in at the YMCA this evening.

My Tweets Today:


























Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean
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