The Daily Diary of a Winning Loser

Today, I maintained the integrity of my maintenance calorie budget, I remained abstinent from refined sugar, I exceeded my daily minimum 64oz water goal,

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Wednesday, 4 March 2015

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March 4th, 2015 Worth Repeating

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March 4th, 2015 Worth Repeating

I was going through the archives this evening and ran across Day 215. It was April 17th, 2009. That night was very special. It ranks as one of my favorite experiences of this entire journey.

When I started losing weight in 2008, the rest of my family followed and as a family unit, we lost somewhere around 500 pounds. I don't remember the exact numbers, but it was significant.

I couldn't run across this post without sharing it once more. It's worth repeating nearly six years later. I wish I knew then, what I know now about body/self image/self worth and how it being tied to our weight/appearance isn't the best perspective and how it can zap us of so much good in our life.

I could have counseled my 15 year old in a wonderful way. But I was oblivious to the epiphany back then. Of course, simply reading or hearing about the 'epiphany' or even experiencing it as I did, doesn't automatically change everything. It's a very sensitive perspective adjustment. It's a tough one, for most of us. It takes work.

The sheer power of her ripping it up and burning it gets me, every time. I love this little girl.

From Day 215 April 17th, 2009:

She Set It On Fire Tonight

Once there was a little girl of eleven years old who was searching for something to make her feel better about her appearance. Her extra weight was wreaking havoc on her self-image and her confidence was at horribly low levels.

She started looking for outfits that would �slim,� and became very particular about what she would and wouldn't wear.

Then one day she discovered something that promised to tighten, slenderize, and magically improve her appearance. All she had to do was wear it everyday underneath her clothes.

She started wearing this magical garment without telling her parents. In her mind it made all the difference in the world. It wasn't long before she became addicted. It was her secret garment. Not even her friends knew what she was wearing underneath. Wearing this undergarment required some extreme discipline and abuse to her body, for when she had it on, she couldn't easily go to the bathroom.

All through the sixth grade she held in any urge she had to use the restroom. Not once did she ever go to the bathroom, unless it was to check her appearance in the mirror.

When her parents finally discovered this undergarment and realized how restrictive and possibly damaging it could be, they ordered it off and discarded. This did not go over well with this beautiful little girl. Her reaction was one of tears and screams, like they had just ripped her whole world out from under her.

She convinced her parents that if she really had to use the restroom, she wouldn't let this undergarment get in the way, and they allowed the undergarment to stay in her possession, protecting her self-image like a bullet proof vest. 

Her obsession continued through the 6th, 7th, 8th, 9th, and even 10th grades. Not one bathroom break in over four and a half years of school days. That is until a month ago. 

That's when this beautiful little girl, now 15 years old, took it off for good. Her weight loss success has made the undergarment completely useless. Her smaller size has rendered that �magical� garment powerless.

She no longer needs that girdle to give her a boost of confidence about her appearance. Exercise and good calorie management has swooped in and really made some serious changes in her body and most importantly, in her mind. 

But she couldn't throw it away. What if she needed it again? So she hid it away.

That little girl is my youngest daughter Courtney.

Tonight, Courtney finally convinced herself she would never need it again, so she pulled out that old girdle and started ripping it apart. Then, she took it one step further, walked out on our patio and lit it on fire. Tonight that girdle burned. 

It burned almost as bright as Courtney's new found confidence and self-image.
photo dadsdinner020.jpg
I love you, Courtney! My youngest is now 21 years old and the wonderful mother of my adorably handsome grandson, Noah. And she doesn't wear girdles anymore, ever.
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Father/Daughter post-workout selfie in 2009
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Today didn't start out with snow and ice like I expected. The frozen precipitation waited until the 7am hour and then it opened up. First sleet, then a coating of snow. By midday the roads were crazy-slick and the closings and cancellations started coming into the radio station. We held a meeting right after lunch time, where it was decided I would go home for a little while, then return and work late, updating things on the air as needed. I took a short nap before returning.

I left the station early evening and took care of some other work related duties before finding a good dinner out. Aside from picking up the occasional chicken and zucchini squash to-go order from the Mexican restaurant down the street, I haven't dined out too much lately.

My work schedule today eliminated the possibility of Yoga class. Yoga was the plan before things changed. I refuse to allow myself to go negative about lack of consistency in my workout schedule. Some days are 100% my doing. Others, like today: Circumstances beyond my control. I'm doing what I can. Can I improve certain elements to help aid this issue? Yes.

I made the decision to make today my rest day. I'm okay with this. I knew one was coming. I almost made it yesterday. I'm glad I didn't! 

I enjoyed good food today, consumed plenty of water and was productive at work. I actively participated in support of others and I received plenty of support, too. I maintained the integrity of my calorie budget and I kept my abstinence from sugar. I describe where I am as recovery. It was a good day in recovery.

My Tweets Today:
















Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean
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