The Daily Diary of a Winning Loser

Today, I maintained the integrity of my maintenance calorie budget, I remained abstinent from refined sugar, I exceeded my daily minimum 64oz water goal,

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Monday, 3 November 2014

Home » » November 3rd, 2014 The Big Box of Temptation

November 3rd, 2014 The Big Box of Temptation

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November 3rd, 2014 The Big Box of Temptation

The freedom I've experienced since becoming abstinent from sugar has been and continues to be one of the most incredible confirmations of my life. Before giving it an honest try, all I had to go on was the stories from others who had gone before me, some with ten, twenty and even 27 years abstinence behind their experiences. It is definitely one of those things where you can't fully understand what they're talking about until you give it an honest attempt. Until then, it's like an addict in successful recovery talking to someone who's high as a kite on the substance. Back then, actively under the influence, it didn't allow the full power to sink into my brain, because my brain was fairly occupied!

And the tests come on a semi-regular basis. Halloween wasn't too bad, actually. But today--oh my...that's another story! It started with an in-studio guest bringing cinnamon rolls for studio staff this morning. No prob, I thought. Then--a couple of hours later, a very nice lady gifted our studio staff with an entire box of freshly baked sugary items. We're talking pies, cookies, more pies--different cookies--and who knows what else? It was a very nice gesture in appreciation of our support and announcements for their fall bake sale fundraiser.

A colleague took the box upstairs and left it on the break table for anyone to enjoy. It was a bit overwhelming. I felt a twinge of self-doubt. The cookies looked like the best cookies I had ever laid eyes on--ever, in my life. I was having some not so good thoughts. I tweeted pictures of the cinnamon roll and later, the box of goodies--as a way of sharing the situation. Doing this took some of the power away from it. Then, I quickly decided I needed to prepare and enjoy my lunch.

I made my way into the kitchen and realized I was out of most everything in my studio stash of lunch items. That's not a good deal when I have a box of craziness mere steps away!! I calmly improvised a lunch with what I had available and sat down at the table, eating my lunch while the box of goodies made its home at the other end.

I made it through lunch okay. I was fine until a couple of hours later when I walked by the box. I stopped and lovingly gazed at the items, knowing the consequences would be devastating if I caved, but still feeling compelled. My brain tried to rationalize just one, just one little cookie--but I couldn't do it. There wasn't a good rationalization to let me off the hook on this one. I was one cookie away, one crazy thought from injecting my brain with the substance I know alters my life in dramatic ways. It doesn't for everyone, but without a doubt, it does for me.

It's interesting, really--this whole dynamic, and how the cinnamon roll didn't bother me, but the entire box of goodies did mess with my mind. In the end, I made it unscathed. I couldn't do it. I could not bring myself to even touch one of these items. I wanted to so bad. I was ready to tear into that box with reckless abandon. But now that I know and have 100% confirmed what sugar does for me--I had to walk away. I've been and continue to be binge free for nearly 7 months. I don't even have urges to binge and I know it's thanks to my abstinence from sugar. My brain isn't under the influence. And that's where I hope and pray it remains for the rest of my life, clear of the fog--clear of the insanity.

I watched the intro video to P90X3 tonight, then made my way through what was basically a slightly improvised and modified home workout. I did some additional squats (feeling it) too--and I can clearly see why this workout plan is so incredible.

I sat down to write this blog and the internet was moving too slow to do anything. It's a rare situation--but finally I gave up and went to bed with the hopes it would be fixed by early morning, and it was!!

My Tweets today:
















Thank you for reading and your wonderful support,
Strength,
Sean
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