The Daily Diary of a Winning Loser

Today, I maintained the integrity of my maintenance calorie budget, I remained abstinent from refined sugar, I exceeded my daily minimum 64oz water goal,

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Thursday, 11 December 2014

Home » » December 11th, 2014 The Stand-Up Show Day

December 11th, 2014 The Stand-Up Show Day

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December 11th, 2014 The Stand-Up Show Day

It didn't seem to matter; my past experience and the reassurance from friends about how I would be fine at the comedy show, didn't stop me from nearly making myself physically ill today. It was absolutely crazy how much I was stressing over it all. And this is supposed to be one of the pathways toward personal happiness? Really? 

It was a horrible day to have a 2015 planning meeting for our radio station. But we did, and there I was, trying my best to pay attention, but completely preoccupied with the idea of standing in front of an audience delivering stand-up material, tonight. A colleague requested I open the meeting with a little "preview performance" of tonight's set. I declined in a firm way. "It's not the same. I don't do that. It's not joke-jokes. I tell stories, I develop a connection with the audience--it's not a style suitable for a few one liners before a meeting." My response wasn't what was expected--and that's okay. I was on edge.

By late afternoon, I started feeling sick. I knew it was nerves. I didn't feel like eating, either. I sent a text to Life Coach Gerri, explaining, basically, how I was void of a food plan this evening and although I was hungry, I didn't think I could eat. She encouraged me to get a snack somewhere, so I immediately turned into a convenience store for some raw almonds, cheese and water. It worked perfectly. I didn't think about food the rest of the evening.

I slacked on my accountability water pics for twitter before, during and after the show tonight, but rest assured, I was constantly drinking water from a tall glass full of ice. I estimated between 3 and 4 additional cups of water, easy. 

Once I arrived at the venue, I took some deep breaths and started to relax a little. I felt my natural instincts trying to take over--so I did my best to allow that. Gerri suggested I find some time for some quick meditations to calm down and center--and it was spot on advice. I did just that--and it helped. By the time the show started, I was still nervous--but in a much better place, mentally.

My performance had three stages, really--as described to me by one of the audience members afterward, "It was cool watching you go from obviously nervous, to okay, to totally in your groove." Yeah, it worked. I wasn't sure if it would. But it did. I still had it. The feeling of confidence and reassurance was indescribable. Even though the material was nearly all brand new and never before tested in front of an audience, it worked. I had some big bits, some killer tags--and an audience that was extremely attentive, allowing a wonderful relationship to develop in the 35 minutes of my set.

I had second thoughts going in. I told a friend, "I did this all wrong. If I wanted to do this again, I should have found an open mic at a club somewhere, where I could do a five minute set. Not schedule an entire show where I'm the headliner, basically." My friend said--"Look, you're not a dipping the toe in the water kind of guy. You're a jump in, kind of guy. It's okay and you'll be great."

The night turned out fabulous. It didn't go as planned as far as food and exercise was concerned. The after show mingling and driving a couple of friends home afterward put the clock super late on me. My plan of doing a celebratory 5K after didn't happen. My dinner didn't happen until almost midnight--which was really too late to eat, but I managed to have something light as you'll see in the Tweets. But in all, I can't complain. As far as the exercise goes, Fitbit gave me a calorie burn of nearly 400 calories for my "measured activity" for the day. I guess all that nervous pacing really added up.

My Tweets Today:
















Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean
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